Christmas is definitely a season of JOY. At least, we tend to see this word a lot on decorations and Christmas cards this time of year. Our minds easily turn to the nativity scene as we think about the angels rejoicing and praising the Lord the night our Savior was born.
This is the season the world tries to have and show Joy. Carols are sung in nursing homes. Toys are donated to kids in hospitals. The increase of giving is typically a result of lives filled with the joyful spirit of the holidays. But do you show joy in every season, or just at Christmas time?
As I've thought and meditated on my mothering journey, I've realized how often I let Joy escape certain seasons I find myself in; just as most people do in other aspects of life once Christmas passes.
The other day my refrigerator got cleaned out. Lots of old, expired food was thrown away, and my empty cabinets began to fill again with clean Tupperware that had been sitting for too long in that big icebox. As I was cleaning said dishes, I realized how something so simple as keeping up with either eating or tossing leftovers was such a challenge for me. It's like, those dishes are out of sight and out of mind. And I felt defeated. (Sounds a little silly after the fact) But seriously... gross, right? I shouldn't be letting food sit in the back of my fridge for weeks at a time for it to mold. I should be on top of this stuff. But truth be told, I'm just thankful I have the sense enough to know which leftovers are okay to eat and which ones aren't. It's all too easy to close the door and let the dishes hang out in the fridge for a day (or several) more.
After reflecting on why I have such a hard time keeping up with cleaning out the refrigerator, I realized that it's because while that task is an important one.. the task of raising Godly children is MORE important. And I try really hard to juggle my time with them developing their moral character between work and homework, and sleep. Again... not that housework isn't super important too.. and that's not to say I have perfect kids because of all this time I've spent with them. Let's face it. Parenting is hard.
Taking care of a household is hard. The list of important things runs longer than the 24 hours that a day allows for.
And so... joy slips away.
Oh to go back to the toddler days. They were by far my favorite. I absolutely loved the ages from about 15 months to 4. But right now I need joy in the tween years as I try to reconnect with a daughter who is becoming her own person. I need joy in the countless hours it seems I spend working on reading assignments with my son. Or the times he begs me to watch him play video games... Because boys are born with that need for shoulder to shoulder time.
It's not that my kids don't bring me joy. It's just that the amount of emotional energy that goes into keeping up with the constant parenting changes as they age is sometimes more than I have in me. But I want to enjoy them. I want to treasure every moment. I want to be a "good" mom.
But are we as a society still under the impression that you have to somehow be perfect to be considered "good"? If that's the case... we all fail miserably.
Sometimes I think about the relationship I want to have with my kids when they are adults. And that keeps me motivated to pour into them and pursue them. Because I do think it's the parents job to pursue the child.. not the other way around.
Even when they are 30... I still want to pursue them. And the way I believe we stand the best change of relating and having positive influence in our children's lives is by daily making them feel important and loved.
Through every season of Motherhood. Fatherhood. Parenthood.
Joy in every season? Maybe it's possible if we stop trying for perfection and focus on honest pursuit; when we stop getting down on ourselves for where we lack, and just try to relate.
Be human. Be flawed. Be real. Because that's where true joy in motherhood is. In that indescribable bond you can share with your children because you valued them, and they in turn will value you.
Don't let the mundane of the every day struggles take away the joy of the season. Whatever that season is. Diapers to college applications, to grandbabies and beyond. If there is purpose in your parenting, you can have joy in all the moments.
"Be Joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."- Rom 12:12
