Growth, not Perfection

At the end of last school year, a few months ago I was walking to my daughter's classroom after the 4th grade awards to pick her up and ended up right beside her teacher as we made our way down the hall. This teacher preceded to tell another teacher nearby which student I was the mother of, and they both just spilled over praise about how well behaved, sweet, and smart she is.

"Both of your kids are great, actually," her teacher told me. "You are the mother of perfection!"

I was taken aback, but of course proud of her comment. And then I remember thinking... are there not very many good, well behaved kids out there anymore? Why else would she act so shocked that my kid obeys the rules?

Perhaps the public school system needs more good, Christian families whose children can shine a light and be a good example to their peers.

Fast forward to a few nights ago, and my son told me about a boy that disobeys the rules a lot in his class. He said this kid is new, yet didn't understand how he could still not know the rules in their 3rd full week of school.

I explained to him that some kids may have a harder time learning or obeying the rules than others, or they might be having a bad day and in a bad mood, or maybe their parents haven't taught them that they need to obey the rules...

Both kids told me they wanted this year to end just like last year... where their teachers just beam about how well behaved they are.

Proud again, but conscious of the fact that they could be growing into little people pleasers... I asked them why they wanted to obey the rules. These were their responses.

*Because it's the right thing to do
*To be respectful
*To be an example to others
*Because the rules are there to protect us

So I took that moment to remind them that the goal shouldn't be "just so their teachers like them" but that it should be for all the reasons they mentioned... and because most importantly, God expects it from us.

Contrary to what my daughter's teacher said that day... my kids actually aren't perfect. Of course they are far from it. Even though my expectations of them are pretty high as a parent, they often fall short of it. Oh the times they have driven me crazy with their choices to disobey. But alas, that's childhood.

But you know what? I sometimes want perfection in my spiritual life... but fall so short of it too.  Because perfection is not something we can ever reach.. But you know what we can reach?

Higher than yesterday.

It's the growth mindset.

That attitude takes away the shame of missing the mark, and leaves instead constant praise that something, anything is improving in our behavior or attitude.

Just as I wouldn't expect a new kid to know and obey all the rules the first week of class, but would expect some knowledge and obedience three weeks in, I can't expect my kids to know how to behave in every situation, all the time. But I can expect that as we come across something new, they listen and absorb and try harder next time.

And the same is true as Christians. Growth as a Christian means that we WILL miss the mark. And then another mark. And then another. But hopefully along the way, we are absorbing, and learning, and coming closer to getting it right as we go.

Jesus Himself said that He didn't come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance. (Luke 5:32) He knew we wouldn't always get it right.

Remember that next time you feel like you're not quite where you want to be.

Don't get discouraged; instead, strive for slow, steady growth.

Kind of like our children.. who we have watched steadily grow and learn and change from babies to big kids, from little terrors to (hopefully) respectful young people.

Our walk as a Christian is the same. We won't always hit the bullseye, but if we are growing, then we are doing something right.

For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love.- 2 Peter 1:5-7