Breathe New Life

Have you ever felt like a dead man walking? You know, just going through the motions of life numb to the ebb and flow of emotions? You don't feel happy. You don't really feel anything at all. You just exist.

Or maybe you see this in someone close to you-your child perhaps. 

What can you do for them? When your child hurts, you hurt. But sometimes you just can't take away the pain they are going through.

My children are young and so, they have not experienced broken hearts, broken dreams, financial burdens, etc in the same ways we face as adults. They have been blessed so far with good health and I pray that continues. Therefore, I have not had to witness them suffer the way some parents do. But if you've ever experienced the worry, anxiety, and concern that comes with a child (no matter their age) suffering whether it is physically, emotionally or financially, to the point where you can't see their spark, their joy, their fire anymore, I think you'll appreciate this story in 1 Kings. I know it brought me great comfort. 

And it came to pass after these things, that the son of the woman, the mistress of the house, fell sick; and his sickness was so sore, that there was no breath left in Him. - 1 Kings 17:17

In this story Elijah is staying with a widow and her son according to what the Lord had commanded him to do. The widow didn't have much, but she opened her home at his word that while he was there her meal and oil would not be used up. (Side note, when we follow Gods lead to be hospitable despite our lack, He has a way of providing for us more than we need.) While Elijah is staying at this house, the young boy gets sick and then dies. 

Can you imagine yourself in the widow's shoes? You have a man of God that you're trying to be hospitable to, and the next thing you know, your life completely turns upside down. Her response is completely natural.

And she said to Elijah. "What have I to do with thee, O thou man of God? Art thou come unto me to call my sin to remembrance, and to slay my son?- 1 Kings 17:18

 She begins to question Elijah. "Why is this happening? Is this to remind me of my sins?" She is questioning whether things in her past have anything to do with the suffering her son went through, and the pain she now feels as she grieves his lost life. Don't we do this same thing? Do we not blame ourselves for the suffering our kids face even if there was nothing we could have done to prevent it?

Skipping down to verse 20 where Elijah prays to God.

And he cried unto the Lord, and said, O Lord my God, hast thou also brought evil upon the widow with whom I sojourn, by slaying her son? And he stretched himself upon the child three times, and cried unto the Lord, and said, O Lord my God, I pray thee, let this child's soul come into him again. And the Lord heard the voice of Elijah; and the soul of the child came into him again, and he revived.-1 Kings 17:20-22

Let's just camp here for a minute. This is what struck me when I read through it, and the reason I'm writing this post. So, the Lord brings this little boy to life again, and theres no doubt it's a miracle. However, there are other resurrections in the Bible and so maybe that alone doesn't give you any sort of new inspiration. But if we bring it to today, and take it off of the physical resurrection and think of it in terms of emotionally or spiritually, what goes on here brings new meaning.

First off, what a beautiful prayer! And one we can pray today for our children, our friends, or whoever it may be in our life that has lost a bit of themselves in the midst of life's trials. "Lord, let her soul come into her again. Bring her back Lord. She's a dead man walking. We miss her. Breathe new life into her."

And I suppose the simple take away is that He is able. He is able to restore a person's spirit so that they can really live again. He is able to heal whatever is broken. He is able to revive.

Maybe its not someone else, but you see yourself in this position. You feel as if your spirit has left you and you're just a shell of who you used to be. This is a prayer you can pray for yourself as well.

"Let my soul come into me again, Father. Help me find my joy again, only in you. I don't want to just go through the motions. I want the life more abundantly that you have promised. Breathe new life into me."

I'll leave you with this, and I hope it brings comfort. The scripture says the Lord heard the prayer, the soul of the child came into him again and he revived. Our God is able to revive.

Not me, Lord.

"Not me, Lord. Please, not me."

"Are you really there? I've always been told you care. And I thought I believed that. But this... How can this be good?"

"I know I'm not perfect. But I'm trying Father. I'm trying to be who you want me to be. Do you see me down here? I can't live with this pain. I can't do it by myself. Please, help me."

Have you ever uttered similar words in the dead of night as tears streamed down your face?

This was me almost 4 years ago on one of my darkest nights. I have never felt so alone as I did that night. Everything in my life seemed to come crashing down in a matter of days, and I was forever scarred. I consider myself to be a pretty private person. But this... this was public, just out there for everyone in my circle to see. My scars were visible.

Not me, Lord.

Months of praying and dozens of devotional books later, I still couldn't comprehend that my life was in shambles or find a way to get out of the mess I was in. Was it because I wasn't a "good enough" Christian? Or on the contrary, was this a response of the enemy to try to break me down because I was doing what was right?

Not me Lord...

Where did God fit in to this situation? Could it be that God was saying no to my hopes and dreams to bring me to a new place that was much better suited for me?

I don't pretend to know exactly how God works, but I do know from the story of Job that Satan was directly involved in Job's trials and yet, God allowed it all for Job's good. God uses our darkest moments to teach us our most needed lessons. I needed to know that I was loved by Him, even when I felt rejected by people. I needed to learn that death is a part of life in order to renew my passion for His kingdom. I needed to feel lonely so that I would stop depending on family, friends or people in general to fill the holes only He was meant to fill. I needed the storm to surround me so that I could appreciate the power in the phrase, "peace, be still."

You may be uttering these words right now. Not me, Lord. Maybe you're in a place you never wanted to be. Can I encourage you to let Him show you the purpose behind the pain?

Sometimes the purpose isn't grand. It doesn't always result in a beautifully crafted plan that falls into place at the right moment. Sometimes it does, but sometimes it doesnt. Yet, there IS purpose in our pain.

Even if the only thing your pain teaches you in this life is that this life has problems, it has served it's purpose to remind you that Heaven is worth striving for.

We have a good Father. A Father that loves us. Everything He orchestrates in our life is for our good. There's an old phrase, "if God brings you to it, He can bring you through it."

Can I encourage you to change one word in this cry we so often make? What I'm suggesting is really bold, and may seem a little bit crazy. But stick with me. Instead of begging "not me, Lord," let's submit our will to His and simply say, "yes me, Lord."

Yes to anything that helps us grow. Yes to anything that brings us closer to Him. Yes, even to pain in this life so our hope can be in Him instead.

I can honestly say that when I've had this perspective, I've always found purpose behind my pain. And guess what, there really is Joy on the other side of trials.

"My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into divers temptations; knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing."- James 1:2-4

Stay in the fight

I have something to confess to the blogging world.

I used to be a perfect parent.

Before I had kids.

But in all seriousness, I think most of us start out our parenting years with plans, ideas and think so's of what our 18+ years of parenthood will be.

I know for me, I envisioned family dinners around the table, nighttime devotionals, crafting projects with bible themed learning, church ministries and bedtime prayers.

I imagined never taking my frustrations out on my children, always showing patience, and loving every single second of motherhood with everything in me.

Even while the kids are young, we still tend to have it figured out. But eventually kids get minds of their own. Situations change. Influences come into the picture that you have little (if any) control over.

And suddenly you realize this parenthood thing is the most difficult task you'll ever complete.

How do you teach your kids the values and morals you hold dear while other influences discourage them?

Kids at school, friends, perhaps even teachers or family members; I don't know your situation, but I know you probably have parental road blocks that get in the way of your ideals and goals for your kids.

Sometimes you have to take a stand and make hard decisions to keep the values you are trying to teach your kids.

Perhaps they are not allowed to watch certain things, even when their friends are.

But sometimes you have to learn to let go, and trust that they are in God's hands. (Like the first time your little girl spends the night away from home and you have unrealistic visions flash through your head of car crashes)

Sometimes we can get so discouraged by our lack of perfection as a parent, or lack of control over situations that we can just sort of start going through the motions and lose our zeal.

We stop even trying to read those devotionals. Life is too busy. We stop spending time outdoors playing ball. Give them an electronic device to entertain them. We stop prioritizing those extra ministry opportunities because well, we're tired after the long week. Instead of always embracing the hands that clings to us, we hide in the bathroom just for a few minutes of alone time.

The kids are clothed and fed, and we become satisfied with the bare minimum.

Don't do it friends!

Stay in the fight. Fight for your family. Fight for your children.  Fight for their souls.

Spend quality time with them, not just simply teaching them, but enjoying them as well.

Take them to church. Read the Bible to them. Do devotionals with them. Say goodnight prayers before bed. Talk about school, friends, church, God, and well, anything at the dinner table. Take those family days. Vacation with them. Make memories doing things you all enjoy.

Life is busy, that is true. And you may not be able to parent 100% the way you envisioned as you started your journey. But don't go through the motions when it comes to your kids. Stay in the fight.

With eyes on the Father, we can overcome whatever obstacles are in the way to use our 18+ years of parenting to the fullest. We're raising the future generations. That deserves, no demands our highest priority. Stay in the fight!

"Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it."-Prov. 22:6

A Different Kind Of Resolution

Imagine you walked out your door into the world to begin your day only to notice that everyone around you had text bubbles over their head revealing the worst mistakes they had ever made. Your family and friends, coworkers, and strangers on the street were all revealing sins they never meant for anyone to know about and yet, they had no choice. The text bubble didn't lie. How would you react?

Your best friend with the pornography addiction. The family member that was a thief. That stranger walking around with murderer written in his bubble. Would it change your opinion about those you know and love if you saw their darkest secrets?

Now imagine your worst mistake. Imagine it too is written in a bubble for the world to see. Perhaps it's adulterer, or drug addict, or alcoholic; what would your text say about you?

You begin to get the stares, judgement and disappointment in loved ones' faces as your flaws are revealed. How would that make you feel?

We are often quick to judge others based on their worst days. We would NEVER do THAT!, we think to our self.

But the funny thing about our mistakes is that they really don't label us unless we let them. Its not the perfect past that God the Father is looking for, it's an humble heart that submits to His healing and perfecting.

And while someone else's mistake may be absolutely awful when it's completely exposed, in the eyes of God, so is mine.

That's right. We're all on an even playing field. Every mistake that I've made is revealed to the Father. Every mistake that you've made is revealed. And yet, He loves us still.

We may not really have text bubbles that reveal to others what we've done, but we should be open and honest with God and our self about the mistakes we've made.

And we should definitely be careful not to quickly label others based on something in their past.

Lets make a resolution for 2017. Lets stop pointing fingers and placing blame, throwing stones and labeling.

Lets learn how to forgive others and forgive our self. Lets start 2017 with the resolve that we will be in this fight together, as brothers and sisters in Christ, encouraging each other to continue to choose God's way.

You are not your past mistakes. You are not your past hurts or disappointments. Don't forget that. You are loved. You are redeemed. The only label you wear is Child of the King.

When Your Best Isn't Good Enough...

Have you ever given your all to something only to fail at accomplishing what you set out to do? 

I have. 

One of the biggest disappointments of my young life was the time I auditioned for the TMEA state choir my senior year of high school. After having a great district audition placing 2nd and an exciting region audition placing 4th, I only needed to keep my spot in the top 5 at the pre-area tryout to move on to the state audition for the chance to sing with the best in Texas. I could feel it. The win. It was close. 

When the time came for my audition at pre-area, it wasn't a case of forgetting my cutoff or entering too early. I did everything perfectly, the way I'd been practicing. When I went into the room full of judges behind the marker board to sight read a piece of music, I had no trouble at all. I was prepared for the unknown solfege. 

I gave it my all. But there was just one problem. I had fallen ill. Running a low grade fever with the congestion and cough that goes along with it. And when the names were called at the end of the night, I had given up my spot in the top 5 and had to settle for place number 6, better known as the first loser. 

At 17 I had to learn the oh so difficult lesson that sometimes life just doesn't go as you plan no matter how hard you work to accomplish your goal. Sometimes your best just isn't good enough. I had to learn that time and chance play a part as well. And ultimately, that God's Will prevails. 

The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps. -Prov. 16:9

Maybe you've felt this way. Perhaps you've felt it in ways much more serious than a singing competition. You put your heart and soul into a business idea that never took off. You clocked in early and never took a sick day at your job and yet still endured a layoff during cutbacks. Maybe you have tried to be a friend to someone within your world that has just decided to hate you no matter what. 

Maybe like me, you've had times where your best just wasn't good enough. 

It's a painful feeling, not being good enough. You pour yourself completely out only to receive rejection in return. 

But there's a truth I am reminded of in scripture, every time my best efforts still end in lack. 

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 

-2 Cor. 12:9

Let's break down what this verse really means in application for us. 

1. His grace is sufficient. Let that sink in. His grace is enough. More than enough. It is all you need. His grace turns your "not good enough" into "more than enough." His grace is sufficient. Rest your soul with that knowledge.

2. His power is made perfect (complete) in weakness. You feel weak? You have sin? Struggles? Disapointments? Are you tired of trying so hard and still failing? It is at our weakest points that His power can really work in us. 

How does it do this? Well, in my experience I've seen His hand in fulfilling many promises just when I need them; an unexpected kind word of encouragement from a stranger on a day I feel down, or money somehow stretching farther into the month than it should have according to the calculator. Those well known promises of His provision and protection? It's in these weak moments that I have found Him to be faithful to fulfill them. 

His power also works in another way though; perhaps even a more important way. Let's look at the rest of the verse again.

3. I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  How could Paul boast in weakness? Maybe Paul knew that weaknesses- whether it be a sin problem, trial, or struggle- could also be a sign of growth. It's proof that His spirit works within us. When we begin to recognize areas in our life that do not line up with God's word, it's easy to get down or depressed. But the truth is, that's the job of the Holy spirit. To reveal our own personal growth opportunities. It is through His power that we can rest in the knowledge that whatever we face is preparing us for something in our future. Our job is simply to obey His leading to conform to His image.

After all, where is the testimony without the test?  Where is the message without first the mess?

Years have passed since my TMEA days and I've seen failure in my life much more serious since then. Even when my intentions are pure, sometimes I just miss the mark. 

Maybe you've felt these same feelings. Let me encourage you to rest in His promises. His grace is sufficient. You'll feel it when you least expect it. Open your eyes to the spiritual blessings all around you. This- whatever is going on in your life right now- is just a step in the journey. Keep on keeping on, friends. 

Can You Be Thankful On Turkey Day Even If You Missed Out On Turkey?

Sometimes I think back to different times in my life and imagine how I would have reacted to present circumstances. It's a great way to judge personal growth and maturity. Let me explain.

6 years ago the week of thanksgiving, I was newly pregnant with my now 5 year old son. I had just started feeling nauseated each morning within the previous week and what do you know, family members of mine all started coming down with the stomach flu. I remember this because I remember feeling sick to my stomach just thinking about the possibility of being exposed to it. Stomach flu + pregnancy nausea = bad attitude. Thankfully I avoided the dreaded sickness and it was a great thanksgiving year.

4 years ago I also avoided the stomach flu around thanksgiving, but there were family members who weren't so lucky and were not able to attend.

2 years ago was the first official Thanksgiving at my dad's house and yes, you guessed it... The stomach flu made its appearance just days before. There was talk of postponing, or relocating, or canceling all together. Lets face it, nobody really wants to be around anyone who has stepped within 3 feet of "it". Or maybe that's just me? #nofilter When it came to Turkey day, we all showed up and had a great time. Early the next morning I was sick as a dog, but Thanksgiving day was great.

Fast forward to 2016, the stomach bug is back and I've officially named it #theflemingcurse. I mean, it's becoming a pattern here... Once again our family is coming up with plan b, c, and d the day before thanksgiving because the original agenda has been compromised. This year it was my daughter who woke me up early thanksgiving morning with stomach issues and I kissed the thought of fried Turkey goodbye. Not in the cards for us this year.

Spiderwebbing back to the original thought... If I had had to miss thanksgiving dinner on any of those previous years due to sickness in the house, how would I have responded? I know it would have been easy to pout, throw a pity party, be depressed all day and make everyone in the house miserable. Sadly, I've thrown that kind of party before. Its awful lonely.

But can you be thankful on Turkey day even if you miss out on Turkey?

I believe you can. Because I am. You see, a little perspective goes a long way. There are a lot of things in my life that are not going my way. And this, this bug that ruined thanksgiving plans could have been the straw that broke the camel's back. But with perspective, there is still joy.

1. I was already scheduled to have the whole weekend off, so I was able to be a mother and lovingly take care of her without the added stress of calling in to work, losing needed hours and feeling guilty.
2. I don't have a whole lot of quality time with my kids anymore with our busy schedules and such the older they get. But today the 3 of us got to totally relax and basically do nothing. And it was it's own kind of wonderful.
3. Thanksgiving is so much more than Turkey. Its about truly having a day to reflect on your blessings, be with the ones you love and thank God for everything. And that's just what I did today.

There are countless things that happen in this life much more serious than #theflemingcurse. That's why it's so important to stop and reflect and never take anything or anyone for granted. Life is short. Life is precious. So hug your babies, call your mom, and never let a day go by without thanking the Father for all He has done.

And occasionally, look back at past trials and see how far you've come. Because if you're putting forth the effort to grow then you will surely see evidence of the potter's work in your life and heart. And that's proof my friends; proof that we are overcomers!

What is an Overcomer?

The word overcome is defined as:

1. To get the better of in a struggle or conflict; conquer; defeat:
To overcome the enemy.

2. To prevail over (opposition, a debility, temptations, etc.); surmount:
To overcome one's weaknesses. 

Therefore, the person who prevails over their struggle, conflict, temptation, enemy or weakness is an Overcomer.

Why this blog?

Because I think like me, you sometimes need reminded that through Him we can and will overcome the trials of this life. I think like me, you need uplifted and encouraged from time to time. I think like me, you could probably use 5 extra minutes to contemplate the truths in God's word to help you as you go throughout your day. Because there is too much negative in this world. Because Jesus has so much more to offer than just ordinary life.

Or maybe it's just that I need a place to feel at home. A santuary. And blogging about life is just that for me. A haven of rest. A place where I can share my experiences and hopefully learn some things along the way. One thing is certain. No matter what ups and downs this life brings, eternity will surely be worth it. I'm an Overcomer through Him who gave Himself for me.