Have you ever given your all to something only to fail at accomplishing what you set out to do?
I have.
One of the biggest disappointments of my young life was the time I auditioned for the TMEA state choir my senior year of high school. After having a great district audition placing 2nd and an exciting region audition placing 4th, I only needed to keep my spot in the top 5 at the pre-area tryout to move on to the state audition for the chance to sing with the best in Texas. I could feel it. The win. It was close.
When the time came for my audition at pre-area, it wasn't a case of forgetting my cutoff or entering too early. I did everything perfectly, the way I'd been practicing. When I went into the room full of judges behind the marker board to sight read a piece of music, I had no trouble at all. I was prepared for the unknown solfege.
I gave it my all. But there was just one problem. I had fallen ill. Running a low grade fever with the congestion and cough that goes along with it. And when the names were called at the end of the night, I had given up my spot in the top 5 and had to settle for place number 6, better known as the first loser.
At 17 I had to learn the oh so difficult lesson that sometimes life just doesn't go as you plan no matter how hard you work to accomplish your goal. Sometimes your best just isn't good enough. I had to learn that time and chance play a part as well. And ultimately, that God's Will prevails.
The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps. -Prov. 16:9
Maybe you've felt this way. Perhaps you've felt it in ways much more serious than a singing competition. You put your heart and soul into a business idea that never took off. You clocked in early and never took a sick day at your job and yet still endured a layoff during cutbacks. Maybe you have tried to be a friend to someone within your world that has just decided to hate you no matter what.
Maybe like me, you've had times where your best just wasn't good enough.
It's a painful feeling, not being good enough. You pour yourself completely out only to receive rejection in return.
But there's a truth I am reminded of in scripture, every time my best efforts still end in lack.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
-2 Cor. 12:9
Let's break down what this verse really means in application for us.
1. His grace is sufficient. Let that sink in. His grace is enough. More than enough. It is all you need. His grace turns your "not good enough" into "more than enough." His grace is sufficient. Rest your soul with that knowledge.
2. His power is made perfect (complete) in weakness. You feel weak? You have sin? Struggles? Disapointments? Are you tired of trying so hard and still failing? It is at our weakest points that His power can really work in us.
How does it do this? Well, in my experience I've seen His hand in fulfilling many promises just when I need them; an unexpected kind word of encouragement from a stranger on a day I feel down, or money somehow stretching farther into the month than it should have according to the calculator. Those well known promises of His provision and protection? It's in these weak moments that I have found Him to be faithful to fulfill them.
His power also works in another way though; perhaps even a more important way. Let's look at the rest of the verse again.
3. I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. How could Paul boast in weakness? Maybe Paul knew that weaknesses- whether it be a sin problem, trial, or struggle- could also be a sign of growth. It's proof that His spirit works within us. When we begin to recognize areas in our life that do not line up with God's word, it's easy to get down or depressed. But the truth is, that's the job of the Holy spirit. To reveal our own personal growth opportunities. It is through His power that we can rest in the knowledge that whatever we face is preparing us for something in our future. Our job is simply to obey His leading to conform to His image.
After all, where is the testimony without the test? Where is the message without first the mess?
Years have passed since my TMEA days and I've seen failure in my life much more serious since then. Even when my intentions are pure, sometimes I just miss the mark.
Maybe you've felt these same feelings. Let me encourage you to rest in His promises. His grace is sufficient. You'll feel it when you least expect it. Open your eyes to the spiritual blessings all around you. This- whatever is going on in your life right now- is just a step in the journey. Keep on keeping on, friends.
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