I know what it feels like to be left out. I know what it's like to be rejected by others.
I like to tease my friends and family about my middle child syndrome where I claim to have been constantly overlooked and unheard as a child.
But in all seriousness, sometimes even as adults we face times of rejection by others.
There was one situation in particular where I felt this way. Everyone was nice. Everyone was pleasant. But I just didn't fit in with the crowd of people I was with. As they reminisced about fun times I wasn't included in, and planned their next outing that again didn't include me, I couldn't help but feel rejected. In that moment, I felt as if it was me somehow. I wasn't good enough in their eyes to hang with them.
I think as we get older we begin to realize who "our people" are. And it makes it much easier when others don't find us as charming as we actually are.
But sometimes it's something more serious that is heart breaking and soul damaging. Sometimes we face real, deep, painful rejection.
So how do we overcome these feelings? How do we "move on" when it continually creeps up in our life and heart?
The other day a passage in Isaiah stuck out to me as I read it.
He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God and afflicted.
But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed. - Isaiah 53:3-5
When I read this passage some things just jumped out at me that proved to be profound to my heart.
Not because they are super deep, spiritual truths, but actually quite opposite. Sometimes for me, the simplest bible truths have the hardest time sinking deep into my soul. Maybe it's because these truths are easy to forget when I am feeling down, or because the enemy tries very hard to steal these truths from my heart.
1: Jesus knows the feeling of rejection.
There it is, plain as day in scripture. He was rejected by men. Men hid their faces from Him. We really can bring those feelings and situations to Him when we go through them. He understands the pain in our heart. How often have I forgotten to take my burden to Him, and instead sat around drowning in my own feelings of insecurity? Why do I sometimes take other peoples opinions of me and stamp them to my forehead as if they are true? Sure, I may not be this person's favorite, or I may have poured out love to someone who didn't appreciate what I was trying to give.. or my personality may clash with someone and we just will never be anything but civil to each other.. But that doesn't determine ANYTHING about my worth. After all, if anyone who has ever lived had great worth.. it's Christ. And he was rejected too.
2: He carried our grief and sorrow to the cross.
There is no need for self pity. That grief and sorrow has already been dealt with in love. He went through it for us, so we could release those feelings to Him. That pain can be taken from us, and true acceptance and value is given in return. He gives us our worth because of the cross. So, the next time we feel rejected by someone, we can give it to Jesus and let Him take it to the cross. Let Him show us His thoughts about us. He values us so much that He went through all He did just to give us a chance to be with Him. Through His wounds on the cross, we are healed; healed from sin, healed from shame, healed from yes - the feeling of rejection.
Jesus offers more than just eternal salvation- as if that wasn't enough- He offers healing now. Oh what a beautiful thought!
If you are feeling lonely or dealing with the pain of rejection, I hope this passage gives you peace and comfort to know what your Savior has done for you. Read it again. Not only does he understand, but he went through it too, so that you could know his opinion of you - which is the only one that matters.
So, some practical advice from one person to the next?
Ask God to show you who He wants you to do life with. Ask Him to help you find "your people." He can and will lead you to Godly friends and influences who will see the worth you have in Christ and be there for you through all the good and bad times in life that may come. He can send influences that will help you become the best version of yourself that you can be. Within the fellowship of God's people, you will find where you "fit in." You will find that place where you belong. You'll find family that values you. Don't lose heart, my friend. You are loved.
-Mel
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